One of the most exciting things about having a baby is finally getting to see their face…finally getting to meet them and hold them. Ultrasounds don’t do our babies justice…they are a whole lot cuter in person. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so thankful for ultrasounds and that I got to see Micaiah and spend time with him (on the big screen ) before he was born but they really can’t give you the full effect.
We had more than one person tell us we should terminate Micaiah’s life. I can get real angry just thinking about that. I can speak from experience that no matter what the diagnosis is, it is worth it to carry your unborn baby. Oh it is so so worth it, even if you just get a few minutes with them.
I’m not writing this to make anyone feel bad. I’m writing this because I want people to know that it is very worth it to carry your child no matter what the outcome may be. I’ve struggled with guilt because I remember thinking that it would be easier to just end the pregnancy. I wanted relief from the pain I felt. But ending his life would not bring the relief I was wanting.
Carrying Micaiah was difficult, not because it was hard being pregnant, it was difficult because it was hard to bear the thought of him not making it. How could God do this? How could I do this? Oh I begged and prayed that God would do a miracle and give Micaiah kidneys. I did not want to lose my son. But we did lose him.
We lost our son but I got to see his face. I got to see his sweet face. I got to hold him and kiss him and love him. I got to help give him a bath, I got to dress him, I got to see my husband hold him and I got to see my family hold him. The time we had with Micaiah is priceless. The joy of meeting him far outweighs the pain of carrying him. And we are told that these light and momentary afflictions are preparing for us an eternal weight of glory. This affliction doesn’t seem very light at times. But I do know it will be worth it. I know that the glory Paul is talking about is mainly related to when we get to be in the presence of our King and Savior but I do think that part of this “eternal weight of glory” involves seeing my son’s face again. When we look back on our lives this suffering will seem light compared to the glory of seeing and knowing Jesus in His fullness. I’m looking forward to that glorious day…to the day when I can stand by my son and together enjoy seeing our Father’s sweet face.
2 Corinthians 4:17-18
“For this light and momentary affliction is preparing for us and eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”